Sh*t Mama I Made It
Life Update
Well, it has been months since I have posted. Things have been interesting to say the least. So let’s get into what I have been doing. This year is one of the most important years of my life, at least right now it is. I have been finally able to realize all the work I am putting into bettering myself and life. It has been tough to be honest. I was suffering from imposter syndrome and thinking this life I have been creating is not real. It has taken continuously working with a therapist weekly to help me see my accomplishments. Not only my accomplishments but the beautiful person I have been transitioning into. Daily I practice waking up at 6am to start my day, working out every morning, eating healthy, and looking for work. On top of that I make sure to set time aside for my spiritual well being.
I recently found myself a part time job and so far I am loving it. I have been working for 2 weeks now and it has been a change for me. I had worked in retail for 5 years prior to becoming a nanny. Returning, I was hesitant because I remember the pressure to sell and make goals. Being told by managers all day “we need to make sales” was a pressure I did not enjoy when I was younger. I needed a job if I wanted to continue to go to school. My thought was, this BA is not going to pay for itself. Soon after a few weeks of looking I found a job. I was surprised that in my first week I was being praised by not only customers but managers and bosses from cooperate. I seemed to forget being in my home for so long, how good I was at customer service. The thought that just a week before I had family matters to attend to, leaving me to cancel on a friend at the last minute, and delaying me to start work. I know things are never easy, and I feel at that moment the universe was testing me how bad I wanted this. After my orientation on my way home I began to cry. I cried because I was so grateful for everything happening. This was only the beginning though for what was in store.
I had been telling myself since last year I did not want to take out a school loan for my bachelors. Wherever I got admitted I had to plan on coming out of pocket. Everyone kept telling me how rare it was that they paid for your bachelors degree. While trying to remain proactive I did need to get accepted to a school first before worrying how I was going to pay. While checking my email I saw a letter from the university I applied to. I was sitting in my room and thinking this is it. I opened the email and cyber confetti bursted out and tears began to fill my face. I felt like I could not breathe and I was being pranked. I read the email over and over “We are excited to admit you..” Never did I think I would get into a university. I called and texted everyone important to me and all my congrats rolled in. I am still in disbelief that I will be graduating with an AA this June but then going for my BA Fall 2022 at a UNIVERSITY!
On the same day I was admitted to the University of my choosing I also opened my first small business. This was indeed an overwhelming week with so much to be thankful for. The first week I had 11 sales and found support from people I never thought would show up for me. My first manager, sisters friends, and friends of friends all took out their credit cards to show up for my opening day on Etsy. I was filled with so much gratitude that week all I did was cry that week. Why did I find it so hard to believe in myself? This shop I made on Etsy was beautiful and detailed. I had been working my ass off ending winter semester with a cumlitive 3.00. I kept choosing to feel shocked but I turned that into, ya I did that.
Now it was time to worry about how I was going to pay for the next 2 years of school. I was given suggestions for a scholarship, grants, and loans. However, I was praying continuously that I did not have to pull a loan. My credit is not good and I did not want to feel pressured to repay a ton of money after graduating. Well let me tell you about the power of prayer. The universe listens to everything you say and more importantly to what you manifest. Well I manifested the heck out of not needing a loan and the universe granted me that blessing. I am so fortunate that I will not need to take out any loans and financial aid will cover everything for Fall and Spring.
I have to sit back and say, “WOW”. Wow, that I made this happen for myself. I continue to get affirmation that this is my path. I want to pursue psychology so I am able to help those in need of figuring out how to change their life. Help others find the healing I found in myself. Although we are never fully healed we can do things that lead us to a better life. Instead of focusing on what I do not have, I have turned my attention to things that are very much present. I have good friends, family, and a life I am watching flourish before my eyes. It is incredible what a vision board, discipline, manifestation, and prayer can really do. I am serious about the seeds I am planting for my future. I do not think I can be stopped at this point. I do not stop for passive people, people who want to create negativity, or anything that does not contribute to growth. I promised myself I would make magic and that is what I intend to do.
Note to Reader: You are going to come across many people who say you cannot, become passive when you begin to grown, or even sometimes become jealous. These people are not always a reflection of you but you can learn from them. Learn to always communicate how you feel and stand up for yourself. Do not chase those who do not value your print on this earth. Time is valuable and words are remembered. People will show you who they are, believe them.
