Letter to My Future Love

I love you and you do not even know it yet

Well amongst all things school and the beautiful life I am creating for myself, I felt this morning I am missing something. I do speak about the importance of being single and dating yourself. This has been a rough journey. The past 3 years have been interesting for me to say the least. I woke up this morning after watching the 2 new episodes of Just Like That, the new Sex and the City series from HBO. I recently rewatched every single episode of the series to get ready for the new season. I was not ready for anything I saw. NO spoilers here but this one moment sent me in to a spiral I was not ready for. I immediately texted the 2 people that are the voice of reason. Who often I feel might even know me better than I know myself. Chan and Tiffany thank you for always being there when I know there is 1,000 other things that you have going on. I love you guys. This post is inspired by you.

I had this feeling after watching the show that inspired me in a new way. I was crying uncontrollably because I started to think where I am. How happy I am and have been for the first time in years. I love myself for once and value what I am doing in life. It is not about a paycheck or a man anymore. I am in this place where it is all about me. ME ME ME. I love me. I chose to be here to fight for myself and what I want to create. Chan in few words starts to states things I tell her back to me, “Take your own advice” she says. She is right on so many levels. Tiffany is my emotional side of things, she says “You need a hug, and I will give you one tonight when I see you.” They both balance a side of me I could not see admitting I did need something I was not giving myself in that moment it was love. It was admitting to myself that it was okay to want a partner even though it is not in my cards right now, it was my choice.

Dear Future Partner,

There is some things I want to say to you if you are out there. When our spirits align and we meet it is going to magic. First and foremost my best friends come with me. They are part of me and it is nonnegotiable. My family is the biggest part of me and you will have to understand they are also nonnegotiable. These people love me and they are going to be along for our journey. They are going to want to get to know you and I hope you let them. Now as for the rest of me I am rough on the outside. Do not let my dominant side fool you. When you get to know me you will ask yourself “Where were you all my life?” You might be my Aiden and Big. I am a astrological freak but I am also a logical thinker. I love deep conversations about nothing and everything. Half the time I do not understand myself but you will. I am loyal and I am going to love you with my whole heart. We are going to have a balance that works for us. We are also going to have hard times but work through them. Life does not stop because we found each other but we are going to have each others back. I love you and I cant wait to meet you and see what we have in store.

Love your Future Partner

I was inspired to write this letter today because I needed to admit something to myself. I do want love and although it is not the center of my life anymore does not mean I do banish it all together. I am human and it is okay. My focus is me right now and I am doing that work to be a better me. I think it is time I do recognize that even though my family and friends love me, that I love me it is okay to still want the possibility of a partner. Until then I am on this journey and it is truthfully beautiful. I am so excited to see what life has in store for me. Thank you for coming along for the ride.

Note to Reader: “Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” — Carrie Bradshaw