I Do Not Respond to Negativity
Let’s Talk Accountability
If you are a regular reader of my blog you know I have no filter when it comes to telling a story. I will tell you the good, the bad, and the ugliest parts of myself. I know when I have put myself situations I should have never been in. Often when it is too late. Also being someone who writes on a public forum where I choose to vulnerable I make myself open to criticism. I now make myself aware of where I put my energy. My mom always said “pick your battles” and as I end my first year in my thirties this has never made more sense. I always felt the need to go back and forth with people. This was only a reflection of my life condition. I thrived off the drama and that was a reflection of my enviornment. I was immature, confused on who I was, and my life reflected that.
A few weeks ago I wrote an article titled Are “Men” Becoming More Triggered? (linked right there for you if you have not read it yet) I wrote the article because I had been experiencing a lot of aggression from males I encountered. When something holds space in my head now it is because I am curious. There is 1,111 reasons for everything and we do not always know all sides. When I posted this article it was not meant to be controversial but just transparent. I believe men and women can be bad. Anyone can has the ability to be bad. I hold no side besides the side that we are people and I treat everyone the way I would like to be treated. When I was writing the article linked above I was wondering if it would even catch someones attention. Most my articles are just the way I see things and how my life goes. I have about 27 followers and on average 70 views. So I was surprised when a few comments came in.
In the last couples of weeks I have received some from men and women. My biggest thought while reading these comments was accountability. Suggestions like covid has everyone aggressive, everyone is on edge, most triggered are feminist, blaming mothers, triggers are a mental health issue, and others. Oh, and someone also said I was condescending and judgmental. I am not sure but I do think that these people did not read my article all the way through. I think they read the title and let my experience that week speak for all of men. I gave them no response because it goes back to accountability. If you are always having trouble with the opposite sex it is time to ask yourself why instead of blaming them. If you have childhood trauma do the work to fix that. If this article triggers you, then do not read it. The title said it all and you made the choice to click it. You made the choice to comment before even finishing it. You chose to spread negativity instead of having a constructive conversation. Negative words are like dark shadows you cast on your life. You only curse yourself, not me.
My accountability in this article is that I am not captain save a hoe. I do not need to heal anyone. It is not my job to tell you anything but thank you for your thoughts. We are so quick to respond to negativity rather than the positive things. Our life is a series of choices. We make them every single day. I chose to not engage with the comments simply because I said what I said. I was never speaking for every man, just the ones I spoke about. When people say “oh we are all just unhappy” I do not know who they are speaking about. Although my life is constantly transitioning to the next phase as months pass I am happy and I only get happier as I progress. Yes there are bad days of doubt but that is life. I find myself enjoying every single phase. I continue to make better choices as I understand myself more. Not entertaining friendships that do not serve me or engaging with negative people. These are boundaries I have in place mainly for me to not to “pop off on these clowns like Batman!”
The moral of the story is always look at yourself before you go questioning peoples motives and tones. Things are never fully one sided and we can often sometimes be to blame for our own misery. There is going to be situations in your life when you will need to take accountability. No one is perfect but it is an opportunity to learn.
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