Friendly or Flirty?

Is there such a thing as being too friendly?

The title says it all here. I recently told my friend I do not think men and women can be friends. I believe this because of a few reasons, one being that when it comes to opposite sex some of us do not know the difference between friendly and flirty. Second, because someone always ends up liking someone else. Sometimes we just remain in the friend zone because it is better than not having that person at all. With that being said if you know the intent behind the conversation it is just being friendly and if you have a conversation with intent it is flirting. I feel like I just cracked some code and my mind is blown.

I know that not every man who speaks to me is interested in me. I talk to everyone to be honest. I love talking to my Uber and Lyft drivers, strangers in line, and anyone who strikes up a conversation. My intent is always friendly, so why do people think I am always flirting with them? Someone once said “I could see why they think you are flirting.” I did not understand this because I am just nice to everyone. Even when I show up somewhere and see the girl who does not like me I hug her, because she probably needs one. HA! I had to laugh. I do not have an intent behind my friendly demeanor besides the intent to strike up a conversation and learn something new.

Recently, I was in a Lyft that my friend got after helping her out. She goes “this guy is totally your type.” She shows me the picture and I agree. She knows me very well so I knew he would be. I made a few jokes, like “Is my future husband on his way yet?” She replies “I cant with you.” I honestly can’t with myself sometimes. We start to make our way towards outside as he is arriving shortly. I say my good-bye and I get in the car. It would be about a hour or so until I got home. So, I did what I would always do and strike up a conversation. 27 year old male from Ojai but lives in his car, and working full-time driving until he makes enough to move into an apartment. This is what I learned about him yesterday, in our hour drive in traffic to my house. My intent was to just be friendly with him and in that I found out a lot about this person. He is willing to do whatever he has to do pursue his happiness. It was an inspiring care ride to be honest. He was aware of himself and I thought I could be friends with this person. Although him being a male we related on many topics and I think if he lived closer I would be his friend.

Regardless of what people think if I may or may not be meaning when I have a conversation, someone will know when I am flirting with them. To put it out there, I am an aggressive flirter. I make it known when I am interested in someone. I do not like when assumptions are made, especially about my character. I will put myself out there if I need to and know the intent behind it. I am not for everyone though, and the sometimes the only person who has access to me is me. This is just who I am and I think people take that for more because people are not like this. We do not strike up conversation with people to just chat anymore. It is not normal so we do not do it. I am not flirting, I am just being me.

I think like many other people it can be easy to make assumptions when we truly do not know the intent behind someones behavior. When someone is talking to your significant other we automatically assume they are flirting. I think sometimes people are just nice and having a conversation. Reading into things to find a meaning when sometimes the real meaning is sitting right on the surface.

Note to Reader: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”