Are “Men” Becoming More Triggered?

Real Question

I do not want to start a war. I don’t want to be labeled a man hater. I have a question though:

Since when did all men become so angry?

Were they always angry and I never noticed? Recently, anytime I talk to a male, he’s ready to jump down my throat. Not in a fun sexual way either. I told my readers last week that I am friendly and love striking up conversations with people. I enjoy hearing new opinions, new ideas and being taught something new. Recently though I noticed when speaking to men the conversation is more aggressive than constructive. When I say aggressive, I mean the conversation slowly becomes negative, because they’ve been triggered in some way. Mind you, sometimes the topic of conversation is simply about music, food, or just healing. Healing usually includes topics like loss, gratitude, and talking about sore subjects. It is being vulnerable and encouraging that person to look within why that hurts them. It is almost like they do not know how to dialog so therefor the conversations turns confrontational.

I have been known to walk away from situations or really give it back to someone so they shut the fuck up with all that negative noise. I will legit, get out of the car or hang up on you the minute you begin to twist things. Lately, when I’m offering insight about healing, and men are triggered. I’m just trying to be there for them, because it seems they clearly need a hug. I think men are truly triggered by the suggestion that they should practice some self reflection. Men feel their emotions differently than women — that’s the truth. I think they feel the pain of heartbreak, the loss, and guilt as much as women do but it reflects differently.

Healing seems to trigger them the most. I just want to be like, “Who hurt you and why are you taking it out on me?” This is usually my sign to exit left. Honestly, I have to go back and reread texts to see where the conversation went wrong. Men make excuses for being mean by saying, “That’s just how I talk or text.” When the way they are speaking is actually just fucked up.

The Rule: If they are mean to you, that means they like you.

This doesn’t hold weight when you’re an adult. I am good when it comes to flirting like that to be honest. Flirting is not an excuse for disrespect. My favorite response is when you confront them and they say, “ I haVe siSteRs, I KnoW bEtteR.” In reality they do not, because they mistreat their sisters as well. Seriously, what is with the aggression lately? I’m experiencing it far more with guys.

However, they tend to sweep their emotion under the rug and let the toxicity or the negativity of that emotion plague their mind. This is the wrong way to cope with things in my opinion. Your triggers show and it is not nice. Now let me give you a few examples:

• My ex who was not really my boyfriend but was, was always triggered by the idea of doing better in life. My encouragement was always mistaken for a lecture. He could not fathom that someone was actually on his side, unlike his family, when it came to his passions.
• There’s the guys I have talked to on social media, and they become triggered when I post a question on Instagram. They use my opinion as an excuse to disrespect me. I want to just start laughing at them sometimes and I know that’s not nice. I am almost uncomfortable or taken aback by some people’s responses. My intention is to have a conversation. It’s that simple.

This aggressive behavior leads me to think about a few things. First, we all have feminine and masculine energy regardless of gender. Some people think of this as also Yin and Yang or Sun and Moon energy. The white half with the black dot represents the yang, or masculine energy, while the black half with the white dot represents the yin, or feminine's energy.

“Within the psyche, we each have BOTH these energies and they help us to live a creative life and bring into the world our creative essence. The dynamic between these energies differs for each person and depends on the individual, their experience in life and what they have inherited from their family and cultural backgrounds — the creative form that comes from this dynamic also depends on the individual.”

Since there is a balance between feminine (Yin) or masculine (Yang) energy that we could all find. These are energies not associated with gender.

Yin Characteristics:

Yin is characterized by slow, soft, allowing, passive, submissive, cold, receptive, intuitive and able to let things unfold as they may. It’s associated with the moon, water, earth, femininity, downward movement, death and night.

Yang Characteristics

Yang is characterized by fast, hard, solid, focused, masculine expanding, strong, and aggressive. It is associated with the sun, fire, sky, heaven, dry, masculinity, daylight and birth.

When we look at the yin and yang qualities, we can observe them in our lifestyle, the food we eat and how we navigate and express ourselves in the world. Whether or not we are male or female, we all have a masculine and feminine side, and bringing that into balance will dictate our relationships with our children, partner and friends. When we think of yin, we think of emotions, connections, and intuition. When we think of the yang, we think of drive, movement, and expansion.

When you cannot communicate how you feel it is easy to become frustrated. With men it becomes easier for the ego to be damaged depending on how they were raised. Women experience aggression as well but it will look different for us. For men the source of their aggression comes from not being able to express their emotions.

“In early childhood, violence and aggression are used to express emotions and distress. Over time, aggression in males shifts to asserting power over another, particularly when masculinity is threatened”

If what I was speaking about did not trigger your aggression we would be able to have a constructive conversation. A conversation where there was something we could both take away. I have seen the extreme side of things and it is ugly. I find myself on Tik Tok seeing the angry men on there shaming women. Saying things like “Maybe your daddy didn’t love you enough or maybe he loved you too much.” The nerve of some of these low value boys draws me to the conclusion that some of you hate women. Your aggression towards female women for not praising you for your low vibrational energy. The cause of that is to project your insecure ego and lack of communication onto us.

Know when speaking to me though:

I am having a discussion, not a debate.

I think that if men tapped into their feminine energy more, they would get more insight into the source of their emotions. We all need to balance both our feminine and masculine energies at the end of the day. One does not exist without the other. Also, like most things in the world there are an endless amount of reasons for someone’s response. They could be having a bad day, the topic is a sore subject, they do not relate to the topic, and a number of other reasons. Regardless do not take my vulnerability as an opportunity to disrespect me.

I do not care to make you believe what I believe, but in sharing what I think about things. I guarantee I will learn more from you than you do me. I am listening to you, I am hearing your tone. You are showing me who you are in the conversation. What will you take from me? Probably not a damn thing because you are so hyped up in being triggered you will not learn anything.

Note to Reader: I hope you always choose you. Do not let the world change you. Be strong.